FODDER OF THE WEEK: WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' BADGES... JUST SOME RESPECT - NEW DADS DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY

It’s not easy being the “dumb blonde” of the parenting world. To paraphrase Rodney Dangerfield, New Dads get NO respect- not from society, not from our wives, and certainly not from our own mothers.  To the world at large, we’re just arm candy to the real “brains” of the operation:  the moms. We’re just a bunch of bumbling buffoons who need to be monitored so we don’t hurt ourselves, or, more importantly, our offspring.  Whereas moms are just expected to be able to take a new born baby and care for it like it was mandated by nature, dads are expected to watch and learn from the masters. Well, that may have worked in 1983 when “Mr. Mom” did more damage than good by depicting stay-at-home dads as  domestic dimwits, but in 2011 that sh!t don’t fly. New Dads are perfectly capable of caring for their kids, and like it or not we don’t need your approval to do what is as natural to us as breathing.

I’m not saying moms don’t work hard. I’m not saying they don’t do an inordinate amount of work to ensure that their homes are running smoothly. But there’s a big difference between working hard and working smart; and treating your husbands like morons just isn’t smart. I mean if a guy can figure out the spread in order to place a bet on Super bowl Sunday, don’t you think he can figure out how to pour 8 ounces of milk in to a baby bottle? It’s not rocket science, so why does it seem like we can’t do anything without our wives watching our every move? Sure, it’s one thing if you want to show us a “different” (notice I didn’t say better) way of doing something, but every time you push us out of the way to do it as YOU see fit, you’re only hurting yourselves- we’re not the ones who will be raising our children alone while the other one is watching hockey in the living room.

And, what’s up with that whole passive aggressive patting us on the back when we do something that pleases you? I don’t need someone standing over me watching my every move as I change the baby’s diaper going “Good job, honey! Thumbs up… Gold star on that one.” Were we both not shown how to change a diaper by the same nurse at the hospital? What am I a boy scout being tested for some merit badge? I’m a father! This is my job too. I don’t need a standing ovation from strangers on the street screaming “You’re doing so good” for taking my kid for a stroll. I don’t need patrons in a restaurant stopping by to shake my hand saying “your wife would be proud of you” just because I can sit and feed my kid. I don’t need an approving nod from my-mother-in-law letting me know “how impressed” she is with my parenting skills. I’M A FATHER, not a fool. And I’m a damn good one too!

So while society holds on to its outdated views of manliness, and the role a father SHOULD play, I’m going to keep reminding you that there isn’t a single thing a mother can do that a father can’t (barring giving birth, carrying a child for nine months, and mastering the art of eye liner). A father caring for his child isn’t an anomaly; it’s a father caring for his child, and he doesn’t need your approval to do it.

They say a job well done is its own reward, and raising a child is a job and a half, but New Dads are up to the task, and all we want is your respect… and the odd cookie.

I guess what I'm saying is, all we need is some room to breathe so we can do what comes naturally… and learn from our own mistakes. Is that so wrong?

Related Links:

• http://www.newmomsproject.org/10-things/4-hazing-new-dads-is-counterproductive/
• http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/03/health/03dads.html
• http://www.freelancedad.typepad.com/freelancedad/articles/The_New_Dad.htm