Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...

The Induction Production: Why Getting Induced is Harder Than it Sounds

Some women love being pregnant. Others hate every minute of it. But no matter the pregnancy, every first-time mom will tell you, when she wants that baby out, she wants that baby OUT. So when the due date arrives and that baby doesn't arrive with it, every woman falls back on her contingency plan, her "plan B:" induction.

So you ask, what is induction? What does it entail? How do I get me one?

Dude, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. Look it up yourself:


Cool. Now that we know what we're talking about,  and we know that ins and outs of induction, we can discuss how quickly the best laid plans of mice and men can go awry, and why induction can become such a long, drawn out production.

It was 8:30a.m., a Friday if I remember correctly. It was cold outside, but that's because it was March in Canada. My wife and I arrived at the hospital to be induced- her, not me-but the clinic hadn't opened yet. Apparently, someone other than the baby was late. We waited. When she did arrive (the nurse), she made us wait out in the hallway for another fifteen or so minutes. Then she called my wife's name and we entered the clinic only to be seated in another waiting room, for another half hour. Then she called my wife to her desk, asked her for the same information she gave to the intake nurse on the first floor (two hours beforehand), and asked us to sit for another half hour.

Finally, the nurse called my wife's name, again, and asked her to lie in one of four empty beds to have some readings taken. Another half hour passes. The nurse returns, reads the readings and says: "Nope. You're not ready yet. Maybe you should go home and come back if you go into labor in the next few hours." "Say what?" my wife asked. "Go home?" I asked. "Not happening," we said in unison. So we asked her what our other options were. "You can go to the mall, and walk around and come back." she said. Done! And we were off to the mall...twenty freezing cold blocks away.

We returned to the hospital, six hour later, no baby, but we had bags of baby clothing from The Gap, and The Children's Place, and Old Navy, and you name it, we shopped there. We go back up to the sixth floor, back into the induction "lab," and what do you know, it's full. All the beds are full. The Nurse asks: "How are you feeling now Mrs. Dolgin?" If my wife said how she really felt, the Nurse wouldn't have known what hit her, but luckily she kept her composure and simply said: "Ready."

So another hour in the waiting room before the nurse called my wife's name, again, and, finally, we were stuck in a back room where they hid another set of beds. And more readings were taken...And more waiting, until the nurse finally popped her head in, checked the charts and said. "Nope. Sorry. Come back tomorrow." Have you ever seen a Rhino tear through a hospital? I was about to, when luckily a friend came to our rescue. She worked in the hospital, and knew people who knew people. She walked in at the right time. Seeing my wife in tears, she asked: "What's up?" Bawling, my wife incoherently recapped the day as I interpreted for her. "That's bullshit." Her friend said, and made some calls. Apparently, this was the worst day in the history of the hospital to be induced because not only were they overbooked for inductions  but they were overrun with multiple multiple births and an inordinate number of natural births as well. But, to my wife's credit, she didn't care. She made an appointment to have a baby, and she was going to have a baby, come hell or high water!

We sat around for another hour, plotting how we could get them to give us a hospital bed. We had to find a way to get this process rolling... then, out of the blue, the stress of the day brought on a miracle. My wife looked at me, smiled, and screamed out for all to hear: "Um, Nurse. I think I'm in labor?"

It was 7 p.m.and we were moved to another waiting room in the delivery area. We waited another hour, but it was okay, we were almost there - a delivery room of our very own. Finally, we made it. A room with a bed and a TV, a doctor and a nurse, and a nice one at that. It even had a bathroom and a shower. We made it! We were about to have a baby... in another 12 hours and 34 minutes. We did it. We were induced! Kinda -If induced means getting the run-around from your hospital causes you to go into to labor?

Why was it such a production? Who knows or even cares at this point? We have a beautiful baby girl and that's all that matters. But, if there is a moral to this story, it's twofold: one, never mess with my wife, she almost always gets her way, and two, expect the unexpected in all things either pregnancy and/or labor related.

You'll see.

No comments:

Post a Comment