Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...

Don't Forget to Pack Your Laz-e -Boy: Why Two Hospital Chairs are Better Than One

When you're waiting at the hospital for your wife to give birth, two thoughts go through your head: what sports am I missing on TV right now and how do I get a more comfortable chair? I know, it's a moment in time when the world doesn't revolve around you, but just because your wife is in discomfort doesn't mean you have to suffer too. So, instead of moaning all night as you wait for your child's big reveal to the world, get your wife the epidural that she's been begging for and get yourself a more comfortable chair.

I'm not saying you should get up and walk into the next delivery room and steal one (after all, your wife would kill you if you left the room at this point). No, I'm suggesting that you make friends with your nurse and play up your back problems until she takes pity on you. It's that easy. Just be subtle, don't be abrasive, and you'll get your chair.

You don't even necessarily need a better chair - you may just need a second chair to put your feet on.  But one waiting room type chair with the metal arms and the vinyl backing does not comfort make (if that's even grammatically correct). You need a better chair (or chairs) pronto! And that goes for all the rooms you will be moved in and out of during your stay at the hospital. Of course, if you're made of money, this isn't a problem as you probably have a nicer suite than you could get at the Ritz Carlton, but if you're not, be resourceful, make some friends, and score the best seats in the house.

Remember, you're in this for the long-haul. You wife gets drugs; you get comfortable seating. You'll be in the hospital for at least two to three days, and don't think for a second that your wife is going to share her nice, hard hospital bed with you. It ain't going to happen. SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO YOUR CHILD!!! (Her words, not mine). So do yourself a favor and get yourself a comfortable chair. And while you're at it, pack yourself a pillow and one of those horseshoe pillows for your neck as well. You'll thank me later, trust me. Just don't remove stuff from your wife's carry-on to fit them in - I learned that one the hard way.

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