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Now, before you go getting all up in arms over what I'm saying, let's look at this logically for a moment. There's nothing wrong with a Facebook page talking about birth and showing pictures or videos. There's nothing wrong with showing natural childbirth. In fact, I support many parenting pages whose sole mission is to show these types of images in a positive way. I see nothing wrong with having 5, 10, even a 100 Facebook pages devoted the joys of childbirth, as there certainly is much to be learned from listening to the stories of others and watching an instructional video or two. But, what if you've already witnessed the beauty of birth, and well, you'd prefer not to be reminded of it until the "entrance" of your next child. What if you just want to forget what you saw, move on, and start talking about the hard part for YOU- the raising of the child?
See, this is my issue: no matter what women think, men do not think pregnancy is pretty--- except maybe the fetishists. So I'm trying to come to grips with why parenting pages trying to attract involved dads wouldn't be sensitive to this? I mean, it's no so hard to do your market research; just show up on the first day of a prenatal class and hold up a photo of a woman crowning and start taking notes...
"Okay, we got diverted eyes, some nervous laughter, 15 gasps, one guy blurted out "hello" and fainted, and the rest just started to dry heave... Nope. I guess guys really aren't interested in birthing shots...."
|When it comes to witnessing a "Crowning," this is the one most men prefer (Miss U.S.A, 2010)|
Okay. Once a week, maybe once a month is okay, but some parenting pages show these images once a day. I get it; many women like to be reminded of the miracle of their child's birth. Well, on the flip side of that, many men don't want to be reminded of how much it took just to keep their lunch down. So I applaud you, please, all the parenting pages, those run by women, those run by men, those run by doula's, and midwives and moms who just like a good birthing video, if we're going to get more dads involved, less is more. Let's move past the whole idea that birth is a beautiful thing and focus on where we're going, not where we've been. Show more breastfeeding images. Cut up circumcision. Let's talk sleeping arrangements, and schedules and milestones, and give the birthing videos a break, shall we?
I'm not saying it's mature. I'm not saying it's something every guy doesn't need to see at least once in his lifetime. But once he's been there- cutting the cord, watching the afterbirth get expelled, and seeing his wife get stitched up like a football- most guys don't want to go back and visit... or maybe it's just me? Either way, it never hurts to see it from a man's point of view- the one where he asks to be over the shoulder and unable to see anything.
So if you're a parenting page that wants to attract more guys, take my advice: guys will watch a lot of movies over and over again, but given our choice of home movies, we'd sooner watch our wedding videos than see the birth of our child- again, and again, and again. And we're certainly not down with watching the birthing videos of strangers. So please, have a heart. We want to learn as much as we can about parenting too, but anything from the waist up would be a nice change. I mean, if you've seen one birth, you've.... well, you know what I mean.
Let's work together to get more dads involved.
- Fodder 4 Fathers
It's Not 4 Everyone...
Related links (Some great birth pages we highly recommend... for those interested):
Disclaimer: This post has been for entertainment purpose only. Fodder 4 Fathers wishes to thank all the Facebook Birthing Pages for doing some amazing work to bring the many birthing options available to new parents to light... even if guys may not want to see them.