I love mom bloggers. There's nothing like an outspoken woman talking about the things that are nearest and dearest to her heart. I'd like to say this was their kids, or parenting, but, more often than not, it's not. Now I'm not saying all mom bloggers go off course from their initial goal of actually discussing meaningful issues like breastfeeding, or circumcision, or co-sleeping, but I guess the temptation to go from a respected source of information for new parents to a sensationalist "rag" that makes outrageous claims to garner more attention is just too much to pass up for some. I mean, who wants to be the Wall Street Journal of parenting when it's just so much more alluring to be a British Tabloid. And who actually wants to do real research when they can just make outrageous claims about something as simple as the "de-evolution" of man based on one test subject: their own husband. And while these watered down posts are entertaining, and even somewhat insightful within their limited scope of universal understanding, there's something that these types of "media moms" are missing... foresight.
You see, the problem with being a mom blogger is people actually expect things of you. As a dad blogger, I can say all the outrageous stuff I want, because, let's be honest, if I say something intelligent people can't believe it actually came out of my mouth (imagine, a man knowing something about parenting?). But, it's different for mom bloggers, because of their unique "evolutionary" position as the parent who actually gives birth to a child. In other words, dad's a dufus because he can't birth a child or breastfeed, and mom's all-knowing because she carried a baby for nine months and apparently got some magical manual that dad did not. So dad gets carte blanche to make a fool of himself (note, I said himself, not his wife), and moms, if they want to uphold their position as a respected member of the mommy blogs club- the governing body that says moms are all knowing, omnipotent beings- must hold their tongues. Or, so you would think? But it doesn't work out this way.
Unfortunately for mom, moms want to poke fun at dads too. It makes sense, after all- if you're the "smarter" of the two sexes when it comes to rasing a child, wouldn't you berate your partner on a public forum? Wouldn't you generalize the stupid things that your husband, the inadequate shmoe (in your eyes) that YOU married, does, and extrapolate that to mean ALL men must do it? And then, while you're on a roll, wouldn't you just go all out and throw it in the opposite sexes face by abusing an age old clause in the unspoken marriage act that states that they would have to be an idiot to retaliate in a similar fashion... as they would be "skewered" for even trying?
I mean, what would be the harm? You have all the "power," so why can't you just say whatever you want and expect to get away with it? Men are stupid, right? We can't parent, obviously, or do anything else right for that matter. What are we going to do, organize in revolt? Who’s ever heard of a "Million Man March?" Or, better yet, a Million Man Walk-Out, where every self-respecting father, who is sick and tired of being the butt of his mom blogger wife's jokes just takes off for a week-long bender with a million of his bredren to squander all the money he planned to spend on his wife for Mother's Day on strippers and slot machines that will never pay (put?) out. Who would even think that they would get away with such a thing? Well, I know somebody. And he's just crazy enough to put it out there.
I guess what I'm saying is, there is a point that eludes this specific "new" breed of mom blogger, or Media Moms, as they go about the task of belittling dads for the sake of making themselves look like a superior being. Well, actually, there are several. One, for as much as you believe that men have not evolved enough to be your parenting equal, we dad bloggers do understand Newton's Third Law (simply stated: "...for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction") and we know it's just a matter of time until our numbers hit critical mass and your days of bullying us with your insensitive, unsubstantiated blog posts will soon be at an end. Two, there's enough infighting between mom bloggers (well, women in general) that we won't have to fight this battle alone. And three, we don't need to fight dirty, as our public image is on the rise, while, due to the caricatures certain mom bloggers keep creating of themselves, yours is on the decline.
So, at the end of the day, we don't want you to stop. We actually encourage you to continue down this path, as we (the dads) can laugh at ourselves. And HE who laughs last, laughs best.
See you on the playground.