Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...


Now, take a deep breath, calm your mind, and listen to the story I am about to tell. It's about a little girl, only a few months old, who has been kidnapped and taken to the parking lot of a nearby mall. The kidnappers, two women in their late twenties/early thirties, drunk on power, unable to listen to reason, drag this little girl from the backseat of a minivan in to the mall. Inside, they make her do unspeakable things - they take her to a shoe store; a cosmetics counter; they even make her watch as they try on dresses... for fun. And then, if they hadn't destroyed enough of her innocence already, they inflict their final insult; their most heinous of horrific acts; their most evil of underhanded atrocities- they get her ears pierced...

Now imagine a little girl covered in the stench of THEIR rubbing alcohol, her EARLOBES covered in her BLOOD, and her face streaming, raining droplets of her own tears. Can you see it- her quivering lip holding back the screams? Can you see it- her blood red face holding back the tears? Can you see it? Can you see her face- this little girl covered in blood, and tears, and well-meaning intentions? Can you see her? Now imagine she's YOUR daughter...

(I love that movie)!

Gentlemen, where I come from, when a man puts his foot down his wife listens- or at least humors him. It's time to Fodder Up! Today's topic: allowing your wife to pierce your Baby's sensitive little ears. You may not win this battle, but at least you can educate yourself so you know what you're getting yourself, and your baby, in to.

Pros and Cons of Infant Ear Piercing:

You know why you don't want your wife to pierce your babies earlobes, but like most guys, so far, you're losing the war. My suggestion: fight fire with fire (in other words, let a woman, or a website for women, talk her out of it).

The Debates:

Yes. There's no point in explaining your thoughts on the matter to your determined spouse. It will fall on deaf (pierced) ears. So, if the pros and cons don't seem to do the trick, a good debate never hurts...
The Video:

Like a desperate man trying to pluck at the heartstrings of the women that he loves, when all else fails... cry like a baby. If you're lucky, your wife will be so embarrassed that she'll drag both you and your child out of the salon and you will live to fight another day.
More Video: (To Show Your Wife)
Gentlemen, good luck! You'll need it...


  1. ADAM! We are sooooo in sync! (And not like the boy band...) This is my biggest pet peeve, ever!!!!

    The last straw was when I was set up as a vendor at a mall show on a lazy Sunday morning. Above the soothing drone of the elevator music and squeaking sneakers, came a blood curdling scream...the kind you would hear in a horror movie on steroids. That sound that makes every mom's hair stand on end. It was the wails of an infant in pain. Store owners and customers came rushing into the hall to find the source and offer aide...but what we soon realized was that the pain to this infant was being voluntarily inflicted BY HER MOTHER! I walked up to the piercing pagoda to find a young mother with an approximately 1 month old infant in her lap (I assume the baby's age because she could not hold up her own head) A teenage girl standing in front of them was pushing the baby's head back into the mother's chest and then trying to line up the piercing gun before the baby's head fell front again. Poor little angel baby was crying so hard that she periodically held her breath until another shrill scream escaped again. The shop owner looked on from a distance and laughed and the baby's father stood guard at the door (probably to keep enraged mothers from attacking his baby momma) I smiled and said "Wow, that's the most disgusting example of child abuse I've seen in a long time." to which the mom relied "Are you calling me a bad mother?!" "No, those were YOUR words...but as long as you're aware of it..."

    It made me sick and I did proceed to engage a few more folks in the debate before I left...but the point is: That baby was experiencing the most painful event in her life so far and instead of her mother protecting and soothing her…she was causing it !

    I think it's cruel, eccentric and unnecessary to put a baby or child too young to understand the process, through the pain and continued discomfort of piercing.
    As adults, we can remove our earrings (and most people do) so the rods don't prod us in our sleep. Babies can't remove them, so they get to sleep with metal rods jabbing them in the head. YUCK!

    Most parents don't clean them properly, so now they can get infected because babies puke and grab and scratch and pull at them (have you ever seen what a girl looks like with no earlobes because of severe infection? I have.)

    And most importantly, it's not YOUR CHILD'S desire to have earrings! It's YOUR choice that you are imposing on them...What if they decide they don't want to alter or adorn their body at some point in life...you have destroyed that virtue for them without their consent. Not to mention the joy you will have taken from them by not letting them experience a "right of passage" into being a big girl like mommy and taking her to get her ears pierced WITH YOU because SHE ASKED FOR IT and knows what will be involved!

    Your baby girl is beautiful enough just the way God made her...let her little ears alone and buy her a dress.

  2. You had me at no Earlobes, Tara (well, that and the blood curdling screams). My biggest problem is they make the dads hold these poor kids... it's not a fair thing to ask of the man who is supposed to be this child's protector.

    You make some very good arguments that I hope will make parents think before they rush in to doing something that they may regret later.

    Thanks Tara!

  3. I pierced my daughter's ears at 2 weeks but my son's at 13 yrs. In retrospect, I should have waited to do my daughter's. However, I'm all for parents being educated when raising their children (piercing, circ'ing, bf'ing, etc). With that said, hubs has decided against piercing our future child's ears until s/he is old enough. I figured that I was being gender-biased to wait later for my son. For parents who want to do it sooner than later, make sure your child is young enough to not pull on the ears and be vigilant in keeping the area clean.