Fodder 4 Fathers: "I'm Walking Here!:" When Toddler's Take Over

LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...

From the moment I found myself knee deep in diaper changes, midnight feedings, and spit-up I've dreamed of a day where my daughter would walk. For some reason, in my mind anyway, this, for me, was Independence Day. No more having to get up off the couch to walk across the room to turn her over so she wasn't face down in her own puke (until she's a teenager). No more carrying her from crib to couch to change table to kitchen table to service all of her needs. No more rolling her back over on to her back to sleep, or on to her front to learn how to crawl, or on to the carpet so she gets better traction. No more being at her beckon call. As if...

My friends, the grass is NOT greener on the other side. And as much as you (or I) might have hoped, parenting doesn't get any easier once your child learns to walk- it just gets that much more frustrating. There's opening doors and closing doors, spills and thrills, falls and chills, bumps and lumps and handfuls of hair pulled out in clumps (yours). They come and they go. "Where's the kid?" (your wife asks). "F'd if I know?" The cat runs in fear and the dog stays away. Your wife bursts in to tears when you say: "how was your day?" There's not a moment of peace from morning til night. And if your turn for a second your kid's no where in sight. You can't pick them up 'cause then they just lose their sh@#- "I walky now," so you best deal with it. So you chase them, and catch them, but they roam free again. How many times can a man count to TEN??? They race t'ward the stairs, screaming: "Come daddy! Climb!" But, you and I know what goes through your mind. So you block off the hallways, the doors and the drawers. You move the big bookshelves and all that was yours. You make the house safe for children to play, but you still get no peace, 'cause EVERYTHING'S in their way. You clean up the carnage when each "hell" day ends, but you know in the morning you'll be at it again. So, if I were you, I wouldn't speed up that clock, 'cause all hell breaks loose when your kid starts to walk.

Independence Day my a$$!