Why Can't We Be Friends?- Parents for the Ethical Treatment of Parents

Recently, I was lucky enough to be put on to an article about a fellow dad blogger being blindsided in to a well publicized conversation about who is the better parent, moms or dads. I'll be honest with you, there was a time, not too long ago, where I myself would have engaged in this kind of bitter rivalry as, let's be honest, sometimes, in our society, it's hard to be a New Dad. But, I'm starting to see the error of my ways. Nothing can be gained by engaging in this discussion. In the end, nobody wins and the people that suffer are the ones we as PARENTS have sworn to protect- our children. So maybe it's time for us to give the whole "anything you can do, I can do better" attitude a rest, and focus on what's important: a concerted effort to raise well-adjusted children that won't need to waste most of their adult lives in therapy.

The truth is we can debate this issue and all look like fools, or just agree to disagree, attend to the task at hand (raising great kids), and let it go already.

Do I think I can hold my own against my wife when it comes to raising my daughter? You better believe it. But, don't think for a second that I'm not conscious of the fact that bringing up a child is a team effort, and I wouldn't be half the father I am if I didn't have my wife's love and support. Sure, if you asked my ego (the part of me that takes over when I can barely keep my eyes open) I'm certain he would say name the time and the place and he'd be happy to go head to head with any new mom and take her to task on all things baby related. But where would that get us? On the one hand, I'd piss off a lot of moms by insinuating that I don't see them as equal partners in the parenting game (hint, hint). On the other hand, I'd piss off all those Dads that don't want me to rock the boat so they can continue to golf all weekend and leave their wives, or nannies, to care for the kids. Who would be that stupid? If I learned anything from the film War Games (Mathew Broderick,1983), it's that sometimes the only way to win is to not play the game- the blame game, that is.

Men suck. Women suck. But somehow, we raise some great kids. Sure, I don't know how to properly clean out the baby bottles to my wife's liking, and she can't remember to refill the diaper drawer (wait that's me again), but together we've never let our daughter down, and that's something to be proud of. We don't have to be from the same planet to realize that we share a common goal. And, if the old saying is true, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," (Sun-Tzu, The Art of War) I'd rather snuggle up to my wife at night over any Dad Blogger any day (sorry guys).



Can't we all just get along, throw a barbecue, enjoy our kids and let bygones be bygones? Stranger things have happened...

But, by no means does this mean I'm letting up on the parenting magazines. "You can't be part of the solution if you're part of the problem."