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It's no secret why most babies cry for their mommies when they hurt themselves. It's because their fathers are big, fat (not literally), fumbling oafs (or so their wives say) when it comes to the careful execution of first aid. Truth is most New Dads have the bedside manner of a proctologist- they want to get in and out of there as fast as possible so they can go back to whatever they were doing before the "accident" in question occurred. They think handling a boo boo is merely treating the physical symptoms (covering up the cut or the scrape or the sliver) not realizing that the more important thing to do is to address the psychological distress that accompanies such an event. Well, we don't tolerate your turn and cough approach around here. It's time to Fodder Up! Today's lesson - First Aid Part II - or what we like to call, "Boo Boo 101."
The first thing you're gonna need is a first-aid kit. You want one that covers a wide range of scenarios, so now's not the time to be cheap. Get a good one, and keep it well stocked, and close at hand. Here's what it should have:
Cuts and Scrapes:
For more first aid basics, may we suggest:
- Be Sincere: "Oh, (insert your nickname for child)! I am so sorry. Let me see that..."
- Be Confident: "Please don't cry. I will fix that right up for you. That's what Daddy's are for."
- Be Brave: "Wow. That's some (cut, burn, black eye). But nothing we can't handle together."
- Phrase in the form of a question:"Can we (suggest next step - i.e. running a finger under water) to (clean, wash, fix up) the boo boo?
- Tell the Truth: "This may sting... can we be brave together? 1-2-3...."
- Be Supportive: "See, we have (Dora/ Spiderman/ Spongebob) Band-aids... Daddy's gonna wear one, and your (favorite toy) will wear one too."
- Be a Hero: "See that wasn't so bad? Who is the best Daddy in the world? Now, let me kiss it all better for you...."
Disclaimer: Again, I would like to point out that I am not a practicing medical professional, nor do I play one on TV. The information provided in this article is not the advice of a medical professional and should an emergency arise you are strongly advised to call a doctor (preferably yours). Fodder 4 Fathers will not be liable for any misinformation provided by third party links, and has merely provided a research service to its readers and will not be held responsible for how they choose to interpret and/or use said information.