LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...

STUPID STUDY OF THE WEEK

Here we go again...

The First-Time Fathers Study: a prospective study of the mental health and wellbeing of men during the transition to parenthood.

Imagine, proposing that new fathers would have feelings of distress from the sixth month of their wife's pregnancy until at least one year after the birth of their first child. Go figure. Did we need a study to tell us that? Uh, no! Where do they get the funding for this crap? I certainly hope it's not taxpayer's money.

The only interesting thing I can say about it is that it confirms "sexual functioning...deteriorates markedly" from the moment "the wife" gets pregnant until well after your kid's first birthday. Wait? The amount of sex you have decreases during pregnancy and for at least an entire year thereafter? Shocker! Why did they even bother to pay 312 guys to figure this out. One quick straw poll at a strip club on a Saturday night would have sufficed. 

"Why are you here, sir?" 

"Not gettin' it from my wife..." 

"Oh...."

Was there any merit to this study at all? 

Actually, the only thing in this study that was shocking was the idiocy of its participants. Apparently, most of these guys were anticipating their sex lives would return to normal after a year or so, but this "failed to eventuate." It did, hunh? Wow. Who would have thought? And who would have thought that men, especially the poor saps they chose for this study, would have been "ill-prepared for the impact of fatherhood on their lives?" ANY GUY WHO, IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS, LISTENED TO HIS DAD BITCH ABOUT PARENTHOOD, THAT'S WHO!!!

So, who benefits from a study like this? The Porn Industry of course. Why have a half-naked girl stand outside a strip club when it makes better sense to have her stand outside a pre-natal class, handing out flyers like they do in Vegas? Now, if you want to see how many guys would take the flyers (with their pregnant wives standing next to them) that's a study I could get behind. This one, not so much.

 

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