Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...


I don't know about you, but nothing scares me more than watching my daughter choke on her food. The thought of her gagging for breath actually makes me sick to my stomach. I know, kids can't live on pablum forever, but introducing solids was not an easy thing for me, and I know this is a problem for a lot of parents, but particularly Dads. True, a baby's gag reflex is equally as powerful as a fireman's hose (you only have to get sprayed once to know), but it's still hard to watch your 'baby' struggle to dislodge a morsel of food. It's not like I'm going to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on my daughter, all eighteen pounds of her, so it took a lot of reading up on what to do in case of a choking emergency before I felt comfortable switching from puree to prepared foods.  In the good old days, kids didn't start on solids until a year. Now, many doctors are telling parents to start introducing solids at six months, or sooner, so you don't get much time to get comfortable with the idea. So so long to the ease of opening up a jar of strained bananas and serving it on a spoon. Hello to serving up the real deal, slicing and dicing it yourself until you get just the right size so your kid doesn't choke to death. Woo hoo!

Well, thank god for the Slap Chop ! Make fun of the commercials all you want, but there's no way you'll ever find me chopping up baby food with a knife, or pulling out the blender, and it's fifty attachments, anymore. Try chopping a cherry tomato with a steak knife... if you want to lose a finger. But I'll be slapping my screaming kid's food, and frustration away, in one, two, three seconds with the Slap Chop. Pieces still too big? Slap it again! And again! And again! Your kid will never choke on anything! It will be a near impossibility... and all because you can slap the hell out of any food that poses a threat: Apples. Pears. Carrots, Broccoli, Cauliflower (steam them first to soften). Egg (soft or hard boiled)? Chicken. Steak. Turkey...anything you can think of, it's great! It saves you time, and potentially your infant child's life. Put that in the commercials!

For more information of introducing solids, visit: www.babycenter.com

And, get yourself one of those plastic bibs that actually catches food while you're at it. You'll thank me.

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