LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND

Hello and welcome to a strange new world. You have traveled far through the desert, only to be met time and again by one empty oasis after another. You are lost and alone, wandering, wondering if someone, anyone, knows how you feel. And just when you think you can't go on, and no one could possibly understand your struggle, a hand reaches out to you, lifts you to your feet, and carries you to the promised land. He feeds you knowledge, shelters you from the self-righteous (and the ridiculous), and provides you with the tools you need to survive in this brave new world. You are a stranger in a strange land, but you are not alone. Let him be your guide. Follow closely as you travel together on this adventure of a lifetime. For now, you are a foreigner to "Fatherhood" but soon YOU will be the master of this realm.

"No Man is Expendable!"

This is Fodder 4 Fathers...

Postpartum Depression - It's a Scary Thing

Photo Courtesy of The Exorcist, 1973
 For months before the birth of my daughter people would pull me aside, grab my arm, whisper in my ear and say: "You know about Postpartum Depression, don't you?" People, sometimes strangers, would pull me aside at work, family gatherings, restaurants, convenience stores, and even the barber shop to warn me of the perils of Postpartum Depression. I even overheard two guys talking about it in the bathroom after a prenatal class. It was as if everyone had watched a horror movie that I was about to go see and they all wanted to warn me about it.


I was so freaked-out, I started having nightmares. I would dream about my pregnant wife levitating over the bed, panting and calling herself "Zul." I would wake up in the middle of the night and wait for her to sit up in her white nightie and spin her head all the way around, then back again. I would envision her giving birth, freaking out and roaming the hospital hallways in a blood soaked gown blowing shit up- with her mind. It was taking control of my thoughts. The horror! I needed to know: what the hell is Postpartum Depression, really?

So, I looked it up, and it wasn't as scary as I thought. But you decide for yourself. Here are some links to help you:

http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/depression-pregnancy.cfm

http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/publications/factsheets/postpartum

http://www.postpartummen.com/depression.htm

In short, Postpartum Depression is a serious medical condition affecting 10 to 15 % of new mothers and a growing number of new fathers as well. Symptoms can range from mild to severe, and should not be taken lightly. If you feel that you or your wife might be suffering from the "baby blues," you are encouraged to reach out and ask for help before the situation gets worse. Your hospital will have provided a package with a pamphlet containing local numbers to call. Use them. Call your friends. Call your family. Call for help! Do not suffer alone.

With proper help, Postpartum Depression doesn't have to be the horror show it's made out to be.





    2 comments:

    1. It was that scary for me. I wouldn't let people help me, and although it was probably a mistake, I don't regret it. There's nothing I loathe more than to "share my feelings" with people I don't know. It's a fight to get me to do it with people who I am close to! So yeah, it was a horror show for me. My son puked an entire 8 oz bottle down my back just after my hubby left for work one day (let's say it was 5:30-6:00 am) and I put the baby down and started screaming. I clawed my face up until it nearly bled. I wasn't able to leave the house for a week because that's how long it took to heal. I was embarrassed that I was so emotionally broken. I hated myself, hated my son and resented my husband for knocking me up. I also resented him because being a parent wasn't nearly has hard on him as it was on me. My son turns 5 in a couple of months. We are not close, and we fight all the time. He's afraid of me, and I think it goes back to the first 3 months of his life where he had to watch me screaming and breaking things, or perhaps the time I packed a bag and waited until my hubby got home, then left. Who knows what the exact moment was, but I do know it scarred him for life.

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    2. Jessica. Since we first ran this blog over a year ago, we have had the chance to speak with many moms and dads who have had a horrible time with PPD, many still feeling the affects til this day. It is not something to be make light of, and we hope to educate as many dads as possible on what they can do to help their wives, and themselves, find help so they don't feel alone. Our heart goes out to you.

      -F4F

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